Wow! Let's see who relates to this...about 9 days ago, I spent the whole day working on my goals posting. I labored over what needed to be included in my goals, what goals to set, tried to keep it simple. I engaged in emotional warfare over the concept of spiritual goalsetting, finally coming up with an outlook that I was comfortable with. Whew! I did it! I finished my posting on Goals...
and then...
Meltdown. Too busy. Too little sleep. Lack of focus. Lack of intentionality. And no more posts. No Principle to address in week #4.
So my principle for week number 5 is this...Sometimes you get off track and have to regroup. There's no such thing as a straight line to success. Success is really just a continuous line of failures with constant re-direction back towards the desired end result. It's the failure to regroup and refocus that defines the failure [person], not the failure in execution.
11:38 PM. Time to wrap this up, clean up, and get to bed. Back on the horse again in the morning. Adequate sleep, Giving from a charitable heart, and attention to Goals.
Good night! See you again as the week progresses.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Week 3 - Post 4 [Goalsetting]
Health and Spiritual Goals
Today I will be setting my Health and Spiritual goals. I am going to start by setting my long-term goals for two years out - and my medium-term goals for one year out, the end of this principled living/blogging experiment. So, this is what I'm shooting for by September 14, 2010. It's going to be fairly easy to come up with the objective goals, not so much with the subjective goals - how do you measure those anyway? Well, a little bit of research has just informed me that besides using numbers to measure things, one can also employ the use of "descriptive measures." There are two parts to using descriptive measures - a judge, and a list of factors. We'll see how this these can be used as I work through my goals below...
Health Goals
Before you can set meaningful long-term goals, you kinda need to know where you are at when you start. So here are some starting points with regard to my health:
Objective Measurements
Subjective Measurements
Spiritual Goals
I am thinking that numeric measurements aren't going to work here. I could measure how many times a week I read my Bible, or how often I pray, but those seem too "religious" to me. However, if one takes the view that spiritual well-being is defined by the state of a relationship, wouldn't it be valid to measure how often one interacts with the other as at least one indicator of relational health? Reading and praying do not, by themselves, define a healthy spiritual relationship, but you cannot have a healthy spiritual relationship with God without communicating with Him - i.e. reading His Word and praying (speaking AND listening). Communication is the lifeblood of relationship. Some subjective measurement must be paired with objective measurements, though, in order for the numbers to be meaningful...
Objective Measurements
Minutes spent reading spiritual material or the Bible daily or weekly: ~60 minutes/week
Minutes spent praying/meditating (dedicated time, not a running dialogue) - speaking to and listening to Him: <30 minutes/week
Hours spent in fellowship with other Believers: ~ 4 hours/week
Subjective Measurements
Do I feel connected enough to minister meaningfully to others? No
Do I have a sense of understanding of His will for my life? No
Do I feel connected to and in touch with God? No
Do I know that He cares for and loves me? Yes
Long-Term Goals: September 2011
Feel connected enough to minister to others in a meaningful manner
Have a sense of understanding of His will for my life
Medium-Term Goals: September 2010
Feel connected to and in touch with God
Reading: 30 minutes/day
Praying: 30 minutes/day
Fellowship: 10 hours/week
Short-Term Goals:
Know that He cares for and loves me, continued
Reading: 15 minutes/day
Praying: 15 minutes/day
Fellowship: 6 hours/week
I have to admit, I'm not doing very well with this spiritual section. For some reason I've become quite agitated. It has something to do with boiling this down to a series of numbers, I think. I asked my wife to help me figure what was upsetting me about this and we talked about it for awhile. I asked her, "What questions ratchet through your brain when someone asks you how things are going with your spouse? You answer with a sentence or two, but what are the criteria that you use to make your evaluation?" Like any good therapist, she didn't answer directly, but asked me what criteria I use myself when answering that question. "Well, I ask myself if we've been getting along, if we've been fighting. Or if we've been discussing real-life issues, working through tough stuff. Have we been affectionate?" "Sounds like the same criteria I use, too," she said.
So, what does that look like in a relationship with God?
"God, have we been fighting (have I been rebelling against You)?"
"God, have we been discussing real issues? Have You been helping me with stuff (Have I been listening to You)?"
"Have I been talking about You with others that love You?"
"Have we been intimate?"
Later...
Today I will be setting my Health and Spiritual goals. I am going to start by setting my long-term goals for two years out - and my medium-term goals for one year out, the end of this principled living/blogging experiment. So, this is what I'm shooting for by September 14, 2010. It's going to be fairly easy to come up with the objective goals, not so much with the subjective goals - how do you measure those anyway? Well, a little bit of research has just informed me that besides using numbers to measure things, one can also employ the use of "descriptive measures." There are two parts to using descriptive measures - a judge, and a list of factors. We'll see how this these can be used as I work through my goals below...
Health Goals
Before you can set meaningful long-term goals, you kinda need to know where you are at when you start. So here are some starting points with regard to my health:
Objective Measurements
- Weight: 256.6#
- Waist Measurement: 46.5" at the navel
- Resting BP: 138/88 medicated
- Resting HR: 67 bpm
- RealAge: 53.5
Subjective Measurements
- Am I physically ready to run another mini? No
- Am I physically ready to start the final 3 month training phase? No
- Do I feel physically fit? No
- Do I feel able to run around our block (< 1 mile)? No
- Am I physically ready to run another mini-triathlon? [Not ready to commit to that final 3 month training phase yet]
- Am I physically ready to start the final 3 month training phase? Yes (26 years later, at the age of 47)
- Weight: 165 pounds (90 pound loss)
- Waist Measurement: 32" at the navel (14.5" loss)
- Resting BP: 115/76 un-medicated
- RealAge: 42 (11.5 year drop)
- Do I feel physically fit? Yes
- Weight: 190 pounds (65.6 pound loss)
- Waist Measurement: 36" at the navel (10.5" loss)
- Resting BP: 120/80 medicated
- Resting HR: 55 bpm
- RealAge: 46 (7.5 year drop)
- Do I feel able to run around our block? Yes
- Weight: 235 pounds (21.6 pound loss)
- Waist Measurement: 42"
- RealAge: 50
- brush 2x/day
- floss daily
- stop talking/texting while driving
- add a daily multi-vitamin
- eat breakfast daily
- add three servings of both fruits & vegetables daily
- eat fish 1x/week
- multiple servings of whole grains, pasta, cereal, rice daily
- pay attention to portion and serving control
- exercise 20-30 minutes at least 3x/week to get started
Spiritual Goals
I am thinking that numeric measurements aren't going to work here. I could measure how many times a week I read my Bible, or how often I pray, but those seem too "religious" to me. However, if one takes the view that spiritual well-being is defined by the state of a relationship, wouldn't it be valid to measure how often one interacts with the other as at least one indicator of relational health? Reading and praying do not, by themselves, define a healthy spiritual relationship, but you cannot have a healthy spiritual relationship with God without communicating with Him - i.e. reading His Word and praying (speaking AND listening). Communication is the lifeblood of relationship. Some subjective measurement must be paired with objective measurements, though, in order for the numbers to be meaningful...
Objective Measurements
Minutes spent reading spiritual material or the Bible daily or weekly: ~60 minutes/week
Minutes spent praying/meditating (dedicated time, not a running dialogue) - speaking to and listening to Him: <30 minutes/week
Hours spent in fellowship with other Believers: ~ 4 hours/week
Subjective Measurements
Do I feel connected enough to minister meaningfully to others? No
Do I have a sense of understanding of His will for my life? No
Do I feel connected to and in touch with God? No
Do I know that He cares for and loves me? Yes
Long-Term Goals: September 2011
Feel connected enough to minister to others in a meaningful manner
Have a sense of understanding of His will for my life
Medium-Term Goals: September 2010
Feel connected to and in touch with God
Reading: 30 minutes/day
Praying: 30 minutes/day
Fellowship: 10 hours/week
Short-Term Goals:
Know that He cares for and loves me, continued
Reading: 15 minutes/day
Praying: 15 minutes/day
Fellowship: 6 hours/week
I have to admit, I'm not doing very well with this spiritual section. For some reason I've become quite agitated. It has something to do with boiling this down to a series of numbers, I think. I asked my wife to help me figure what was upsetting me about this and we talked about it for awhile. I asked her, "What questions ratchet through your brain when someone asks you how things are going with your spouse? You answer with a sentence or two, but what are the criteria that you use to make your evaluation?" Like any good therapist, she didn't answer directly, but asked me what criteria I use myself when answering that question. "Well, I ask myself if we've been getting along, if we've been fighting. Or if we've been discussing real-life issues, working through tough stuff. Have we been affectionate?" "Sounds like the same criteria I use, too," she said.
So, what does that look like in a relationship with God?
"God, have we been fighting (have I been rebelling against You)?"
"God, have we been discussing real issues? Have You been helping me with stuff (Have I been listening to You)?"
"Have I been talking about You with others that love You?"
"Have we been intimate?"
Later...
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Week 3 - Post 3 [Goalsetting]
OK, time to start discussing the areas where I am going to set my first goals. Let's start with a list:
Health
Finances
Family
Business
Job
Spiritual
As I previously mentioned, I don't want to overwhelm myself. After too many years of too little sleep, I know that it doesn't take too much to smother my motivation. If I have to keep track of a whole bunch of things at once, things that I have to take action on, it's just way too easy for me - at this point in time - to stick with it all. So, I want to pick just a couple of high-impact areas that I can focus on to start with.
Health - Right now I carry around 260 pounds on a 5' 8" frame. One year ago I moved out of a house where we were subjected to toxic mold and low-level carbon monoxide poisoning for 6-11 years. My immune system is probably compromised. I have high blood pressure, controlled by medication. I could seriously stand to make some significant changes in my health. Getting 7-8 hours of sleep has been making a difference in my mental acuity and general alertness, especially in mid-afternoon, but I can't be satisfied with just that.
Finances - Not a strong area. A really poor money personality coupled with medical bills incurred trying to get my wife healthy (being a work-from-home mom all those years in that house, she's suffered significantly more detrimental effects than the rest of us) has left us pretty much broke. My wife and I have agreed that we need to get on Dave Ramsey's plan to get our finances in order. We've taken some mini-baby steps, but have yet to get going and commit to the plan.
Family - I have some great daughters and a wonderful wife. They deserve a better dad and husband. I'm also a brother (with two younger brothers), a son, son-in-law, and brother-in-law. Extended family gets even less of my time and attention than my immediate family, who don't get much themselves.
Business - I own an independent software development company. We do web application development directly for our own customers, as a subcontractor for another design and web development company, and we are also developing our own software as a service product to put on the market. Without goals, this company will continue to languish in mediocrity. Financially, this business is probably the best bet for our family's future.
Job - I have a great job as an Application Systems Development Supervisor for a Fortune 500 company. I am compensated well, with decent benefits. I have a great team. We have great projects to work on. We're keeping busy and delivering well for our internal customers. I do know that I have to continue to perform well there in order to progress and provide value to the company, but things are going quite well right now.
Spiritual - My spiritual life is hard to evaluate. What are the criteria that define a healthy spiritual life? I have deeply held convictions and I rely on God to get me through. I don't subscribe to a lot of "religious" practices. I don't feel a need to read my Bible every day or go to church every available opportunity in order to be "closer to God." He's a big part of my life, but I do have to admit to not putting as much effort - in a non-religious manner - into the relationship as I could. More attention here could do me well - could help me become a better, more centered and self-assured, me.
Since this whole deal is about living a principled life, let's approach this from a principled point-of-view. What do you hear every time you fly? "If the oxygen masks drop from the ceiling, put yours on first. You can't help those around you unless you help yourself first." With that in mind, which of these should I approach first?
[pause]
Okay, I just finished consulting my wife, who confirmed my own thoughts; start with Health and Spiritual for now. Finances and Business are probably next...Financial goals will kind of take care of themselves when we get to the Ramsey stuff. Business goals will be necessary next so I can get us really moving in a productive direction.
Tomorrow, let's talk about what goals I'm going to set for my Health and Spiritual well-being.
Health
Finances
Family
Business
Job
Spiritual
As I previously mentioned, I don't want to overwhelm myself. After too many years of too little sleep, I know that it doesn't take too much to smother my motivation. If I have to keep track of a whole bunch of things at once, things that I have to take action on, it's just way too easy for me - at this point in time - to stick with it all. So, I want to pick just a couple of high-impact areas that I can focus on to start with.
Health - Right now I carry around 260 pounds on a 5' 8" frame. One year ago I moved out of a house where we were subjected to toxic mold and low-level carbon monoxide poisoning for 6-11 years. My immune system is probably compromised. I have high blood pressure, controlled by medication. I could seriously stand to make some significant changes in my health. Getting 7-8 hours of sleep has been making a difference in my mental acuity and general alertness, especially in mid-afternoon, but I can't be satisfied with just that.
Finances - Not a strong area. A really poor money personality coupled with medical bills incurred trying to get my wife healthy (being a work-from-home mom all those years in that house, she's suffered significantly more detrimental effects than the rest of us) has left us pretty much broke. My wife and I have agreed that we need to get on Dave Ramsey's plan to get our finances in order. We've taken some mini-baby steps, but have yet to get going and commit to the plan.
Family - I have some great daughters and a wonderful wife. They deserve a better dad and husband. I'm also a brother (with two younger brothers), a son, son-in-law, and brother-in-law. Extended family gets even less of my time and attention than my immediate family, who don't get much themselves.
Business - I own an independent software development company. We do web application development directly for our own customers, as a subcontractor for another design and web development company, and we are also developing our own software as a service product to put on the market. Without goals, this company will continue to languish in mediocrity. Financially, this business is probably the best bet for our family's future.
Job - I have a great job as an Application Systems Development Supervisor for a Fortune 500 company. I am compensated well, with decent benefits. I have a great team. We have great projects to work on. We're keeping busy and delivering well for our internal customers. I do know that I have to continue to perform well there in order to progress and provide value to the company, but things are going quite well right now.
Spiritual - My spiritual life is hard to evaluate. What are the criteria that define a healthy spiritual life? I have deeply held convictions and I rely on God to get me through. I don't subscribe to a lot of "religious" practices. I don't feel a need to read my Bible every day or go to church every available opportunity in order to be "closer to God." He's a big part of my life, but I do have to admit to not putting as much effort - in a non-religious manner - into the relationship as I could. More attention here could do me well - could help me become a better, more centered and self-assured, me.
Since this whole deal is about living a principled life, let's approach this from a principled point-of-view. What do you hear every time you fly? "If the oxygen masks drop from the ceiling, put yours on first. You can't help those around you unless you help yourself first." With that in mind, which of these should I approach first?
[pause]
Okay, I just finished consulting my wife, who confirmed my own thoughts; start with Health and Spiritual for now. Finances and Business are probably next...Financial goals will kind of take care of themselves when we get to the Ramsey stuff. Business goals will be necessary next so I can get us really moving in a productive direction.
Tomorrow, let's talk about what goals I'm going to set for my Health and Spiritual well-being.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Week 3 - Post 2 [Goalsetting]
I am not an expert on goalsetting. Here's what I do know, though:
- Goals provide direction, and without them, it's easy to not go anywhere
- Goals should be specific
- Goals should be realistic
- Goals should require stretching
- Short-Term goals are more like a To-Do list
- Medium-Term goals are like milestones or mile markers
- Long-Term goals are visionary goals - end result oriented
- Missed goals don't correlate to failure, but failing to reset and adjust does
- Goals should be reviewed daily
- An Overly complex and lengthy list of goals spells DOOM (K.I.S.S.!)
- Sharing goals with someone else creates accountability
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Week 3 - Post 1 [Goalsetting]
This will be an interesting week. I have a problem with Goalsetting. I used to set goals, but somewhere along the line I became gunshy of setting goals. When I was in high school and college I set goals all the time...and was fairly successful in reaching my goals. I was an athlete in high school (basketball, football, track, martial arts), active in choir and band, and was a high achiever academically. All these activities involved setting goals, practicing to improve, and having my performance judged and/or evaluated. After high school, I got into bodybuilding and general weight lifting (no goals there), and continued martial arts training.
As I progressed through my college years, things changed. I stopped achieving as easily as I previously had. I got involved in a network marketing business that taught goalsetting as an integral part of success. After some early success, results started coming more slowly. Academic success became more elusive as well - 4 different majors before I finally graduated with a nearly worthless degree in Community and Corporate Fitness after 5 years. I got married shortly after college and my wife and I have been struggling to "make it" ever since. We continued working (and not working) our network marketing business for another 12 years or so and never did achieve the levels of success that we had dreamed of.
And there's even more to this little psycho-drama, but after years of what I saw as dramatic failure, never quite measuring up to the standards that I had set for myself, I got to the point where I really quit setting goals. Why set any kind of standard that I could commit to, and then fail at? Something in my brain told me that it would be easier on everyone if I just quit committing to things. How could I disappoint my wife and kids if I never told them that I was going to really do something...I'd had enough of that.
Thing is, it's really true that the only failure is the guy that quits trying and just gives up. What kind of a man chickens out and gives up? Not really gives up, but just won't commit to anything anymore.
So, time to make some goals. This week is going to be quite a change, and very scary, too. I'll have to share my goals with my family and hold myself accountable to them to do what it takes to accomplish those goals. More thoughts on the dynamics of goalsetting as the week progresses! :-)
As I progressed through my college years, things changed. I stopped achieving as easily as I previously had. I got involved in a network marketing business that taught goalsetting as an integral part of success. After some early success, results started coming more slowly. Academic success became more elusive as well - 4 different majors before I finally graduated with a nearly worthless degree in Community and Corporate Fitness after 5 years. I got married shortly after college and my wife and I have been struggling to "make it" ever since. We continued working (and not working) our network marketing business for another 12 years or so and never did achieve the levels of success that we had dreamed of.
And there's even more to this little psycho-drama, but after years of what I saw as dramatic failure, never quite measuring up to the standards that I had set for myself, I got to the point where I really quit setting goals. Why set any kind of standard that I could commit to, and then fail at? Something in my brain told me that it would be easier on everyone if I just quit committing to things. How could I disappoint my wife and kids if I never told them that I was going to really do something...I'd had enough of that.
Thing is, it's really true that the only failure is the guy that quits trying and just gives up. What kind of a man chickens out and gives up? Not really gives up, but just won't commit to anything anymore.
So, time to make some goals. This week is going to be quite a change, and very scary, too. I'll have to share my goals with my family and hold myself accountable to them to do what it takes to accomplish those goals. More thoughts on the dynamics of goalsetting as the week progresses! :-)
Monday, September 28, 2009
Week 2 - Day 7 [Charity]
Well, it's been a bit since my last post. Sorry about that...a bit under the weather and just haven't been up to posting. Sleep (or lack of decent sleep) has been part of that. After my short Thursday night so I could get out to my meeting in Fargo, I started developing some sinus issues and just haven't slept well since, even though I've had the chance to get 7-8 hours a night. Last night was better, but I still feel pretty bad this morning.
So, to bring you up to speed on my Giving thoughts, my wife and I have decided to go ahead and give away 10% of our take-home income. From here we'll progress to 10% of our gross income and then beyond as we feel led. We have 3 main causes that we want to support and have supported sporadically in the past. Here's how our Giving breaks down:
1.8% to Cause #1
1.8% to Cause #2
6.4% to Cause #3 - our local church
I know I still have Sowing & Reaping to discuss with you and I'll be sure to work that into future posts.
Gotta run now. Have a great day!
So, to bring you up to speed on my Giving thoughts, my wife and I have decided to go ahead and give away 10% of our take-home income. From here we'll progress to 10% of our gross income and then beyond as we feel led. We have 3 main causes that we want to support and have supported sporadically in the past. Here's how our Giving breaks down:
1.8% to Cause #1
1.8% to Cause #2
6.4% to Cause #3 - our local church
I know I still have Sowing & Reaping to discuss with you and I'll be sure to work that into future posts.
Gotta run now. Have a great day!
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Week 2 - Day 4 [Charity]
Responsible Giving
This is an interesting topic tonight. I'm going to try to describe the tightrope that I perceive is stretched out before me. If I am going to step out in faith and Believe that God will honor my attempts at Giving, how much is enough or too much to give? What would be responsible? Irresponsible? Does it matter? Won't God honor whatever amount I give and make sure that I have enough?
After a lot of thought about this, here's what I'm coming up with...there are two factors to consider: Faith and Stewardship. If you take the perspective that everything belongs to God, and whatever we have is just on loan from Him, then you can make two conclusions: 1) We'd better be good stewards of what we have because it doesn't really belong to us, and 2) If we do manage His resources well, He'll make sure that we're taken care of. So what does it mean to "manage His resources well"? What do we have to do to be good stewards?
Even though I totally believe that God honors generous Giving, I don't believe He honors irresponsibly generous Giving, because the heart isn't in the right place. This thought might be arguable, but I think that no matter what your financial condition is, whether you have enough to pay your bills or not, God will honor your Giving if you thoughtfully, prayerfully, intentionally Give 10% of whatever you earn to what you believe are thoughtful causes. There are only 2 percentages of giving that are presented in the Bible - 10% and 100%. I'm dead certain that 100% giving, as the widow gave at the temple, is only asked of anyone in extremely rare circumstances. In fact, I think the widow was led to give all that she had in order to provide an object lesson for us. So, the rest of us have been given the 10% figure to work with. While I certainly couldn't argue with anyone that starts with 3% and adds a percent a year with a plan to reach 10%, I do Believe that God will honor anyone that starts with 10%, even if the math doesn't make sense with their current situation.
Sorry if this seems a little disjointed tonight. It is getting late and while my sleep habits have been working out great this week, tonight is going to be an exception. To bed shortly (hopefully before midnight), and then up at 4:00 AM and off to a meeting in Fargo, 3 hours away. In summary anyway...Stewardship comes in the form of being intentional about Giving and sticking with 10% for now if your finances are in rough shape. Faith comes in the form of Believing that God will honor your intention to follow His will and trusting that He will make sure that you have enough.
Tomorrow is payday and time to put what I've been writing about this week into action. My wife is accompanying me on my trip and we'll have plenty of time to work on our plan for Giving.
k - enough for tonight.
This is an interesting topic tonight. I'm going to try to describe the tightrope that I perceive is stretched out before me. If I am going to step out in faith and Believe that God will honor my attempts at Giving, how much is enough or too much to give? What would be responsible? Irresponsible? Does it matter? Won't God honor whatever amount I give and make sure that I have enough?
After a lot of thought about this, here's what I'm coming up with...there are two factors to consider: Faith and Stewardship. If you take the perspective that everything belongs to God, and whatever we have is just on loan from Him, then you can make two conclusions: 1) We'd better be good stewards of what we have because it doesn't really belong to us, and 2) If we do manage His resources well, He'll make sure that we're taken care of. So what does it mean to "manage His resources well"? What do we have to do to be good stewards?
Even though I totally believe that God honors generous Giving, I don't believe He honors irresponsibly generous Giving, because the heart isn't in the right place. This thought might be arguable, but I think that no matter what your financial condition is, whether you have enough to pay your bills or not, God will honor your Giving if you thoughtfully, prayerfully, intentionally Give 10% of whatever you earn to what you believe are thoughtful causes. There are only 2 percentages of giving that are presented in the Bible - 10% and 100%. I'm dead certain that 100% giving, as the widow gave at the temple, is only asked of anyone in extremely rare circumstances. In fact, I think the widow was led to give all that she had in order to provide an object lesson for us. So, the rest of us have been given the 10% figure to work with. While I certainly couldn't argue with anyone that starts with 3% and adds a percent a year with a plan to reach 10%, I do Believe that God will honor anyone that starts with 10%, even if the math doesn't make sense with their current situation.
Sorry if this seems a little disjointed tonight. It is getting late and while my sleep habits have been working out great this week, tonight is going to be an exception. To bed shortly (hopefully before midnight), and then up at 4:00 AM and off to a meeting in Fargo, 3 hours away. In summary anyway...Stewardship comes in the form of being intentional about Giving and sticking with 10% for now if your finances are in rough shape. Faith comes in the form of Believing that God will honor your intention to follow His will and trusting that He will make sure that you have enough.
Tomorrow is payday and time to put what I've been writing about this week into action. My wife is accompanying me on my trip and we'll have plenty of time to work on our plan for Giving.
k - enough for tonight.
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